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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23623006">Effanineffable</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnnaTheHank/pseuds/AnnaTheHank'>AnnaTheHank</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Good Omens (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Cat AU, Domestic, Fluff, Gabriel is not mean, Gen, M/M, angels and demons are animals, he's just dumb and easily excited, humans are still humans, spoiled Aziraphale</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 17:41:33</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>11,767</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23623006</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnnaTheHank/pseuds/AnnaTheHank</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Spoiled house-cat Aziraphale enjoys his days lounging about in the bookshop owned by his humans Anathema and Newt. He even puts up with his dog-housemate, Gabriel. But when he gets lost one day while out chasing sushi, he finds help in the form of a particular alley cat, who he convinces (read: basically kidnaps) into coming home with him.<br/>Thus starts a lovely little life.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Anathema Device/Newton Pulsifer, Aziraphale &amp; Gabriel (Good Omens), Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens), Crowley &amp; Gabriel (Good Omens), The Them &amp; Adam Young (Good Omens)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>141</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>322</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Before a Cat will condescend To treat you as a trusted friend</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I'm not going to lie and pretend that I won't just constantly be starting new WIPs all the time.<br/>but I can promise I'm going to be better at keeping up on all of them! (I think I figured out a major part of my most recent writer's block so like, we Gucci).</p><p>But yeah. Apparently tonight my brain was like <i>hey let's write nearly 5k of a new au instead of working on others</i></p><p>And I am just the meat slave to my brain. </p><p>Thank you all for stopping by to read! I hope you enjoy it &lt;3 &lt;3</p><p>(main and chapter titles all stolen like a thief in the night from T.S. Elliot poems)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Aziraphale was enjoying a peaceful morning on his favorite windowsill. This was his favorite spot in the shop for many reasons. For one, it was the only window that got the full front of the morning sun, warming up his skin as he woke. It was also the only place in the shop that Gabriel couldn’t reach.</p><p>Not that he didn’t try.</p><p>A hard thump knocked against the wall just under the sill. “Aziraphale!” Gabriel announced, pawing at the wall as if he could climb up it. “It’s morning, Aziraphale!”</p><p>Aziraphale yawned and licked at his paw, starting his morning bath. “Yes, Gabriel. I can see that.”</p><p>The golden retriever dropped back to the floor, making a soft whining noise. “I can’t get upstairs,” he announced.</p><p>“Oh?” Aziraphale rubbed his paw against his face. “And why’s that?”</p><p>Gabriel whined again. “They put up the gate! I didn’t even see them do it!”</p><p>Aziraphale sighed and crossed his paws, looking down at his dog-housemate. Why Anathema had to marry Gabriel’s owner, Aziraphale will never know. “Maybe they put the gate up, because you keep waking them at the crack of dawn.”</p><p>Gabriel sat on his haunches, his tail wagging expeditiously behind him. “I bet you could get up there,” he said. “You’re awfully good at climbing things.”</p><p>“I am not going to go and wake them up for you,” Aziraphale declared. He went back to his bath. “I’m busy.”</p><p>Gabriel jumped at the wall. A few times he got his paws on the edge of the windowsill, but he never had enough purchase to pull himself up. Aziraphale watched him, amused. </p><p>After a few seconds of failure, Gabriel gave up. “Fine.” He walked away, though not nearly as dejected as Aziraphale would have expected. </p><p>Aziraphale pushed the thought from his mind and continued cleaning himself. It was so warm in that spot that after he was done, Aziraphale stretched and decided a nap before breakfast would do just fine. He curled back up against the window, the sun beating down on his thick, white fur. </p><p>A crash sounded from somewhere in the shop. Aziraphale peeled his eyes open, looking cautiously in the direction. Then he heard steps pounding up the stairs. He sighed. Apparently Newt and Anathema would have to buy a stronger gate. </p><p>Never one to miss out on an opportunity, Aziraphale jumped down from his perch and wound his way to the kitchen. The kitchen window above the sink was almost as good as the one in the shop, but the kitchen faced out to the west and missed out on the morning warmth. </p><p>But it wasn’t the window that Aziraphale was interested in. It was his food bowl. Unfortunately empty. But, based on the voices and steps from above, it wouldn’t be for long. So Aziraphale sat himself down by his bowl and waited, patiently, like a good pet.</p><p>A few moments later and two very sleepy humans were led into the kitchen by one, overactive dog. </p><p>“If we keep giving in to him like this,” Anathema said, “he’ll never learn.”</p><p>Aziraphale agreed completely. Gabriel, however, followed Newt over to the cabinet where the food was stored. He tried to get inside, pushing his nose into the gap. Newt tried to scoot him away with his leg, but the big oaf wasn’t going to budge.</p><p>Aziraphale yawned again, still waiting patiently as they played out their morning routine. Newt handed Anathema a cup full of cat food, and Aziraphale eyed it hungrily. He meowed, to let them know how much he appreciated their help in keeping him alive.</p><p>Anathema smiled and knelt down, pouring the food in his bowl and scratching the top of his head softly. “If only all pets were as well behaved as you,” she whispered. </p><p>Aziraphale purred and rubbed against her hand before enjoying his meal. He sat up again, shaking his head as Gabriel slobbered over his own food, sending bits and pieces flying about. What an animal.</p><p>-</p><p>Aziraphale had several prime choices of places to nap in. And after such a filling meal, a nap was really all one could do. No one was sitting in any of the reading chairs (Wednesday mornings were always slow), and those spots were much better with the warmth of a lap to curl up in. He had any number of windows he could climb upon, but he had slept all night in a window, and he wasn’t fond of doing it again so soon. He could go to his cat bed upstairs, but then he might miss out if someone <i>did</i> come and sit in a chair. </p><p>Really, he was in a pickle.</p><p>As Aziraphale was stalking about, looking for a place to settle, he spied Anathema opening one of the windows. He followed her around, watching her bring a breath of fresh air into each room. It was a lovely spring morning and a symphony of birds sang their siren songs. </p><p>Aziraphale figured a nap in a window wouldn’t be all that bad, after all. </p><p>Aziraphale hopped onto one of the bookshelves then up to the window he had been in previously. Gabriel and Newt had gone out for a walk, and he didn’t want the dog disturbing him again when they came back. Aziraphale stretched out his back, then settled into a nice curl. </p><p>Then he smelled something. </p><p>Fish.</p><p>But not just any fish, oh no. Someone had <i>sushi</i>. </p><p>Aziraphale sat back up and sniffed the air. Yes, someone definitely had his prime choice of food out there. Nearby. </p><p>Aziraphale looked in the shop. Anathema was busy organizing some books. She wouldn’t notice if he just slipped away for a minute. Just a quick second, to investigate. After all, cute cats such as him were known to get treats from strangers.</p><p>It was much too far to jump all the way down, but there was a lucky little trash can sitting to the side that Aziraphale could make if he aimed properly. And he did aim properly. </p><p>A little hop skip and a jump later had Aziraphale walking down the side alley by the shop, sniffing the air for the food. He followed the scent down a few turns he was certain he would remember. Then he found it. The motherload. A whole shop devoted to those delicious goods. And sitting against the back door-an unguarded box of sweet temptations.</p><p>Aziraphale checked around the space, to make sure no human or other animal had already claimed the fish. But it seemed like he was alone. And he was pleased as punch as he walked up to the box.</p><p>“You must be new here,” a voice said from above.</p><p>Aziraphale stopped, inches away from a delicious second breakfast. He looked up. A thin, short-haired black cat was sitting on the fire escape above the shop. His tail swished back and forth and he seemed to be smirking at Aziraphale. </p><p>“I’ve lived here my whole life,” Aziraphale informed him. He gave the alley cat a bit of a hard stare and turned back to the food that he had found first and was thus his.</p><p>“Right.” The cat jumped down a few levels, until he was just one story above Aziraphale. “So you clearly know not to eat that.”</p><p>Aziraphale frowned and looked up at him again. “Why ever not?”</p><p>The cat shrugged and settled back down, head resting on his crossed paws as he looked down on Aziraphale. “Oh, no reason.”</p><p>Aziraphale sighed. He looked between the cat and the fish. “Is there something wrong with it?” he asked.</p><p>The alley cat jumped down to the floor. His fur was a bit matted in some places, and there were patches of it missing from previous fights. Aziraphale was aware of just how much danger he was in. He was a content, comforted house cat. He wouldn’t stand a chance in a fight against this seasoned warrior.</p><p>“Better let me test it to find out.” The other cat winked at him then slid past. </p><p>Aziraphale didn’t realize he had been played for a sucker until the other cat had eaten nearly half the box. </p><p>“Hey!” he shouted. The other cat laughed and shoved the last bit of fish in his mouth before running off down the alley. Aziraphale huffed. Forgetting his last moment of clarity, he chased after the fiend, ready to give him a good piece of his mind.</p><p>The other cat tossed a glance over his shoulder, then hopped up on a dumpster, using the momentum to propel him up to another fire escape. Aziraphale, with his shorter legs that didn’t get as much use, managed to make it to the top of the dumpster, but only by grabbing the top with his claws and pulling up. He would never manage to get to the fire escape. </p><p>The alley cat laughed. “S’amatter?” he asked, looking positively smug. He sat back down on his crossed arms. “Can’t get up, little house cat?”</p><p>Aziraphale huffed again and gave him a hard stare. “You know, I would have let you have it if you just asked. There was no reason to trick me.”</p><p>The other cat laughed again. “But tricking you was more fun.”</p><p>Aziraphale hissed at him, not that he was a particularly good hisser, and jumped back down. He was a little winded from all that activity, and he was certainly overdue for his nap now. He padded his way down to the main street and stopped. Nothing looked familiar. </p><p>He heard the other cat slide up next to him. “Are you lost, little pet?”</p><p>Aziraphale did not honor him a response. He straightened out his spine and walked along as if he knew exactly where he was and where he was going. The alley cat tagged along.</p><p>“What’s your name, anyway?” the other cat asked.</p><p>Aziraphale kept his mouth shut, trying not to panic as he searched for a sight he had seen from his many windows. </p><p>“Ah, c’mon. Don’t be like that.” The other cat jumped ahead, stopping Aziraphale’s walk. “I’m Crowley.”</p><p>Aziraphale figured he ought to be polite. Worse come to worse, he might have to ask this hooligan for directions. “Aziraphale,” he said. </p><p>Crowley tilted his head. His eyes widened, yellow and beautiful. “Where do your people live, Aziraphale?”</p><p>“A bookshop,” Aziraphale told him. </p><p>Crowley circled around him, eyes scanning over his body. Aziraphale glared at him. </p><p>“What’s it called?” Crowley asked, finishing his circle. </p><p>“I...I don’t know.” He was sure he’s heard it before. But it wasn’t often anyone mentioned it. </p><p>Crowley mewed softly. “I know a few around here,” he said. “Let’s see if any of them are the one.”</p><p>Aziraphale blinked at him. “You...you want to help me? After I yelled at you?”</p><p>Crowley laughed and doubled back, Aziraphale following him down the street. “You did have a point,” he said. “Besides. A fluffy little spoiled thing like you is bound to get hurt out here all alone. Can’t have that on my conscience now, can I?”</p><p>“I am not spoiled,” he argued. “And this fluff, I’ll have you know, is a natural defense. Try biting through all of this, I dare you.”</p><p>Crowley had a look in his eye that said he would, so Azirapahle backed off a few steps. Crowley took him around all over town. But none of the shops had Anathema or Newt in it. And nothing they saw looked like what Aziraphale could remember from his windows. </p><p>“You must be a far way from home,” Crowley commented. They had settled for a break in an alleyway. Several hours had passed and Aziraphale was missing his lunch. At least there was a positive side. If they hadn’t known he was missing by now, they would when he didn’t show up for his food.</p><p>“Crowley, how long does it take a missing pet to be found these days?” He laid down in the box they had found. “With the internet and all, it must be pretty fast, right?”</p><p>“That’s if they’re looking for ya,” Crowley said. </p><p>Aziraphale most certainly did not start to cry.</p><p>“Which I’m sure they are!” Crowley sat down next to him, watching out to the alley. “I’m sure it’ll be soon. Lots of people have seen you today.”</p><p>“And I’ve been moving all over the place!” Aziraphale deflated, his body melting a bit. “Oh, they’re never going to find me. I’ll be lost forever.”</p><p>“It’s not that bad.” Crowley slid over closer and licked the top of Azirapahle’s head. Aziraphale closed his eyes. “You can hang with me. I’ll show you the ropes.”</p><p>“Oh, but I don’t want to learn the ropes!” Aziraphale cried even more. “I am spoiled! And I like it that way!”</p><p>Crowley laid down, pressing their bodies together. He may have been dirty, but he was awfully warm. “It’ll be okay. I know all the best spots to get food. Some I bet your humans never even thought to give you. Better than sushi even.”</p><p>Aziraphale sniffed and looked over at him. “Better than sushi?”</p><p>Crowley nodded and pressed their heads together. “You’ll see. It’s not so bad out here. Besides, you’ll be free to do what you want, when you want. Won’t have to worry about living on their schedule, won’t have to be stuck in one place. You can go anywhere!”</p><p>Aziraphale thought about it. “Could I go to Paris?  I hear they have lovely food down there.”</p><p>Crowley laughed. “It might take a while to walk down there but sure, why not? Out here, you’re limited only by your imagination.”</p><p>Aziraphale leaned closer to Crowley and closed his eyes. He did have quite the imagination.</p><p>-</p><p>It had been a lovely nap. One interrupted by a familiar bark. Aziraphale sighed. He just knew that oaf would come back and ruin his good sleep. </p><p>Wait. </p><p>Aziraphale wasn’t in the shop. He was outside. And...yes! That was Gabriel barking. </p><p>“Aziraphale!” Gabriel called out. “Aziraphale!”</p><p>Aziraphale sat up, knocking Crowley awake. “Gabriel!” he called out. He took a few steps out of the box, Crowley bouncing to his side. “Gabriel?”</p><p>Gabriel came lumbering down the alley. Aziraphale felt his heart swell at the sight. He was found! </p><p>But as Gabriel came running up to him, barking excitedly, Crowley jumped between them, hissing and arching his back at the dog.</p><p>“Crowley it’s alright,” Aziraphale tried to explain. But his voice was drowned out by the growl Gabriel was now giving Crowley. </p><p>Crowley hissed again, then lashed out, scratching at Gabriel’s nose. Gabriel backed up a bit, then growled again, his teeth bared. </p><p>Thankfully Newt and Anathema came rushing down after him, Newt grabbing the collar that Aziraphale just realized had half of a broken leash attached to it. </p><p>“Aziraphale!” Anathema reached down and scooped him into her arms, hugging him to her chest. “We were so worried about you!”</p><p>Aziraphale nuzzled against her, comforted by the familiar smell and the knowledge that he was going home, and he wouldn’t have to walk all the way to Paris.</p><p>But as he was carried away, Aziraphale realized he never thanked Crowley for helping him, and for offering to take care of him. It was only right that he return the favor. But when Aziraphale looked back, calling out for him, the alley cat was nowhere to be found.</p><p>-</p><p>Aziraphale had been given a real, proper bath. Which he sat through dutifully, knowing that on the other side was a dinner of the good food. Not better than sushi, but certainly very close to it. He ate it eagerly, not aware of just how hungry he had been. Then he had curled up in his cat bed, thoroughly exhausted by it all.</p><p>He didn’t even shove Gabriel away when the dog came up and laid down next to him. He had a bandage over his nose, but it didn’t seem like the wound was all that bad. Gabriel was a rather strong pup. </p><p>Aziraphale woke next to a soft stroking over his fur. Anathema was sitting on the floor next to him, a bowl of food in hand. He purred and let her pet him for a few seconds before he stood up and stretched. </p><p>“Don’t go running off like that ever again,” Anathema warned him. Aziraphale nodded as he ate and she gave him another pet before getting up and leaving. </p><p>It wasn’t like Aziraphale was going to go anywhere that day anyway. He could hear the rain pound against the roof. And as he sat and ate his breakfast, he found his mind wandering to Crowley. Where did he go when it rained? He didn’t have a home, but maybe he had found a place to keep dry and safe? </p><p>Aziraphale got out of his bed and went downstairs. The shop was usually closed on Thursdays. That was when Newt and Anathema did all their chores and errands. Gabriel was laying by the door, head on his paws, frowning as his tail wagged slowly.</p><p>“What’s got you down?” Aziraphale asked. He walked over and sat next to him, looking at the door in case there was a bug he couldn’t reach.</p><p>“They wouldn’t take me on their walk,” Gabriel said. </p><p>“It’s raining,” Aziraphale told him. “You’d get all wet.”</p><p>Gabriel turned his sad face towards him. “I don’t mind.”</p><p>Aziraphale sighed. He hopped up to the nearest window. Wondering if maybe he could see Crowley out there somewhere. </p><p>“You look down, too,” Gabriel noted. He got up and lumbered over. This window was low enough that, sitting down, Gabriel and Aziraphale were level with each other. </p><p>“It’s nothing. I’m just worried is all, I guess.”</p><p>Gabriel cocked his head. “Don’t worry. Newt and Anathema will be back. They know they’re way around, they won’t get lost.”</p><p>Aziraphale fought the urge to roll his eyes. “I’m not worried about them. I’m worried about Crowley.”</p><p>Gabriel laid his head on the windowsill and pouted out the window. “What’s a Crowley?”</p><p>“The cat from yesterday,” Aziraphale explained. “The one that was helping me.”</p><p>“Helping you?” Gabriel’s head popped back up. “I thought he had kidnapped you!”</p><p>“No. He was very nice, really.”</p><p>“Tell that to my nose.”</p><p>“I’m just worried. What if he doesn’t have enough food! Or a safe place to stay dry in the rain? He doesn’t have a home like we do, Gabriel. He could be hurt, even.”</p><p>“I think he can handle himself,” Gabriel said, covering his nose with a paw. </p><p>“I’m still worried. He’s my friend.”</p><p>Gabriel whined. “I thought I was your friend.”</p><p>Aziraphale sighed and hopped down from the window. “You can both be my friends,” he said. </p><p>Gabriel sat back and scratched at his ear. “I mean, if you’re really that worried, we could go bring him some food.”</p><p>“How?”</p><p>“I know where he is, or, where we found you guys. We could sneak a bag from the pantry and go bring it to him.”</p><p>Aziraphale sat down and looked up at Gabriel. Sometimes he forgot how talented and smart the big dog could be, given how loud and annoying he was the rest of the time. </p><p>“But it’s raining. We’d get all wet.”</p><p>“I don’t mind. And look, see.” Gabriel walked over and stood directly over Aziraphale. “I can be your umbrella!”</p><p>Aziraphale mulled it over. He didn’t fancy the idea of getting lost again, especially in the rain. But he was worried about Crowley. And he knew Gabriel wouldn’t get them lost. He had been all over the whole city with Newt and Anathema. He could get them there and back no problem. </p><p>Gabriel muscled the pantry open, leaving Aziraphale to wonder why he bothered at all with waking their owners up when he could just rummage around in there himself. The bag was much too heavy for Aziraphale to carry, so Gabriel grabbed it in his mouth, puncturing the sides a bit. As they walked, a few bits and pieces trailed behind them.</p><p>The only problem was going to be getting out. Thankfully, Aziraphale was also smart and talented. The back door only had one lock on it. And he had seen Anathema open it hundreds of times. A little jiggle from the counter with some coordinated handle pushing and they were free. </p><p>Aziraphale's paws got all wet as they padded their way down the streets. But Gabriel really did serve as a great umbrella. They must have looked rather funny, a dog carrying a leaking bag of cat food with a cat trudging along under him. But it didn’t matter how they looked, as long as they got the food to Crowley.</p><p>“We’re here,” Gabriel announced, his mouth muffled by the bag. </p><p>Aziraphale peaked between his legs, looking around the alley. “Crowley?” he called out. He heard a scuffle from the very same box they had curled up in together yesterday. </p><p>Aziraphale raced over, ignoring the few seconds of rain. A black ball was sitting in the corner of the box, and Aziraphale inched closer. </p><p>“Crowley, is that you?”</p><p>Aziraphale reached a paw out, gently poking him. Crowley’s head snapped up, swiveling to look at him. “Aziraphale?” he asked. “What...what are you doing here.”</p><p>“We brought you some food,” he announced. On cue, Gabriel dropped the bag on the ground before the entrance. “In case you were hungry.”</p><p>Crowley looked at it, but didn’t move. “Oh. Uh, thanks.”</p><p>Aziraphale leaned over him, looking over his body. He gasped. “You’re bleeding!”</p><p>Gabriel’s head stuck into the box. “What?”</p><p>“It’s fine,” Crowley said. He shifted his body to better hide his back left leg. “You should see the other guy.”</p><p>“Let me look at it,” Aziraphale said, already pushing at Crowley’s body.</p><p>“I told you it’s fine,” Crowley mumbled. He pushed him away.</p><p>“Then get up and walk,” Aziraphale said. He sat back and waited, swishing his tail. </p><p>Crowley sighed. Then he rolled up, his body shaking a bit as he stood. “See? I’m fin-” He started to walk but when he put pressure on his back leg, it buckled, and he fell back down. </p><p>“Clearly.” Aziraphale walked back up to him and licked his face a bit. “You’re coming home with us,” he announced. “Anathema will take care of you. And Dr. Tracy is simply the best vet in all the world. She’ll make sure you’re okay.”</p><p>“I’m not going anywhere,” Crowley said. He shuffled himself back into the corner. “I’m not some house pet.”</p><p>“But, but you’re hurt! You have to go!”</p><p>“I’ll be fine. Just...leave me alone.”</p><p>Crowley curled back into a ball. Aziraphale sat back and sighed. Crowley needed help, whether he wanted it or not. </p><p>Aziraphale walked back out of the box. “Gabriel, could you help me carry him back to the shop, please?”</p><p>Gabriel nodded and Aziraphale waited under him as he stuck his head back in the box. </p><p>“Hey! Wha-?” Crowley protested, but Gabriel emerged a second later, holding Crowley by the scruff. Crowley hung stiff in his mouth, scowling.</p><p>“If you really want to leave after, then fine,” Aziraphale told him. “But you <i>are</i> going to see Dr. Tracy.”</p><p>Crowley sighed and gave in to his fate. They started walking back home. “What about your food?”</p><p>Gabriel mumbled something around him.</p><p>“Sorry, I don’t speak cat-eater.”</p><p>Aziraphale laughed softly. “He said we have plenty at home. Not to worry.”</p><p>-</p><p>Even if they didn’t have Gabriel, the trail of food leading back to the shop was an easy thing to follow. “Let’s get him in bed,” Aziraphale said as they returned to the warm safety of the shop. </p><p>Gabriel carried Crowley up the stairs, all of them leaving rainwater and mud in their wake, (Aziraphale less than the others, of course). Gabriel deposited Crowley down on the cat bed and then flopped to the floor next to him.</p><p>“Get any closer and I’ll give your eye a matching scar,” Crowley warned. Gabriel growled at him.</p><p>“You two play nice,” Aziraphale instructed. He laid himself down next to Crowley and got to work on grooming him. After all, he wanted him to look nice for Anathema. </p><p>“I can help!” Gabriel announced. He lunged forward and started licking at Crowley, who hissed and tried to roll away.</p><p>“Call off your goon,” Crowley cried, his claws ready to strike.</p><p>Aziraphale gently pushed at Gabriel’s face, getting him to back off. “Why don’t you go keep watch for Newt and Anathema,” Aziraphale suggested. </p><p>“I can do that!” Gabriel bounded away, the floor shaking a bit as he ran.</p><p>“I can’t believe you’d rather stay in here with that, then be free,” Crowley mumbled.</p><p>“Yes, well, in here with that I don’t have to worry about this.” Aziraphale bent his head down and gently licked around Crowley’s wound.</p><p>Crowley hissed but stayed still. “It’s not that bad. Could have been worse.”</p><p>“Won’t you please consider staying with us?” Aziraphale asked. He continued his grooming, much to Crowley’s displeasure. “You’d be safe. And always fed. And the customers always are the best for pets.”</p><p>Crowley scoffed. “You can’t trust humans, Aziraphale.”</p><p>“Oh, but they would never hurt us.” Aziraphale nuzzled his nose to Crowley’s shoulder. “Anathema and Newt are very kind.”</p><p>“That’s how they always start,” Crowley said. “But then they get tired of you, or bored, or too annoyed. Well, I’m not going to sit around and wait for that to happen again.”</p><p>Aziraphale halted his bath, looking down at Crowley with a soft expression. “Again?”</p><p>Crowley turned and curled himself into a ball, saying nothing. Aziraphale didn’t want to push it, so he just continued grooming the parts he could reach. </p><p>A few minutes later and the door downstairs was opening. Aziraphale heard Gabriel bark excitedly, telling Anathema and Newt about all that had happened. Aziraphale couldn't hear them properly, but they probably had some idea based on the state of their kitchen and floors.</p><p>“Well, it’s a good thing it’s chore day,” Anathema said as she climbed the stairs. “I just hope Aziraphale didn’t get...out…”</p><p>She stood at the top of the stairs, staring at the bed in the hallway. Aziraphale nudged against Crowley, who slowly lifted his head to glare at the human. </p><p>Newt was right on her heels, and he, too, stopped and looked at the puzzling sight before them. “We only had one of those when we left, right?”</p><p>Anathema chuckled fondly and shook her head. She crouched down and crept up to them, holding her hand out to Crowley.</p><p>Crowley hissed slightly, his body tensing. Aziraphale gently bit him on the ear. “Be nice,” he said, before licking back over the spot he had bit.</p><p>Crowley’s body relaxed a bit, and he only grumbled as Anathema tested the waters by petting his head.</p><p>“What a cute little thing you are,” she said, smiling at him. </p><p>And how could Crowley be angry with such kindness? Clearly he was, by the way he started to hiss again.</p><p>“Oh,” Anathema said, looking him over. “You’re hurt.”</p><p>Aziraphale gave her his best pleading face, the ones he saved for when they made something for dinner that smelled divine. She never could say no to that face. </p><p>Anathema stood up and dusted off her skirt. “I’m going to go call Dr. Tracy,” she told Newt. “Hopefully she can see them today.”</p><p>“See?” Aziraphale said, pressing closer to Crowley’s body. “I told you they were nice.”</p><p>Crowley huffed and curled back up again. </p><p>“You’ll see,” Aziraphale said, licking over a new spot he couldn’t reach before. “You’ll like it here.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. The ruthless foe pressed forward, in stubborn rank on rank</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Aziraphale is ruthless, y'all. Pray for poor Crowley &lt;3</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>A few minutes later, Anathema came back upstairs with Aziraphale’s cat carrier. She placed it down near the bed, opened the gate, and placed a small handful of treats in the back. Then she walked away, down the hall to the bathroom to help Newt give Gabriel a much-needed bath.</p><p>Crowley hissed at the cage and backed further up against Aziraphale, curling tighter against his body. “I changed my mind,” he said. “I’m not going.”</p><p>“Oh, don’t be like that,” Aziraphale said. “Look, there’s even treats in there for you.”</p><p>“It’s a trap!” Crowley declared. “Let me out, I’m leaving!”</p><p>Crowley stumbled to his paws and tried to hurry away. But he was limping something awful. Aziraphale all but pushed him back to the bed.</p><p>“You are going nowhere. Well, you’re going to the vet, but you know what I mean.”</p><p>Crowley hissed at him, and struggled to get back up. “I am not going to any vet!”</p><p>“It’s not that bad. Look, see, I’ll go with you.” Aziraphale squeezed himself into the carrier, squishing against the back wall to make room for Crowley. “Come on, then.”</p><p>Crowley glared at him. </p><p>“Ah, ah!” Anathema said, coming out to check on them. She reached in and pulled Aziraphale out of the cage, making sure the treats were left behind. “That’s not for you.”</p><p>“Yes, but I’m trying to help you,” Aziraphale explained as she put him back on the ground. “Crowley will go if I do.”</p><p>“Will not,” Crowley mumbled.</p><p>Aziraphale turned towards him, giving him that look. Crowley turned away, but the effect had already been cast. </p><p>“Ugh,” Crowley said. “Fine.” He struggled back up and limped over to Aziraphale, running his head under Aziraphale’s chin. He purred softly. </p><p>“Oh, I see,” Anathema said as Aziraphale gave her a prim and proper look. “A package deal, huh? Well, I don’t think you’re both going to fit in there. Let me see if we have something bigger.”</p><p>Anathema picked up the crate and carried it back downstairs. Aziraphale nuzzled against Crowley’s head under him. </p><p>“If they try to do experiments on me, I’m coming back as a ghost and haunting you,” Crowley said. </p><p>“They’re not going to do experiments on you.”</p><p>Crowley huffed. “That’s what you think.”</p><p>Aziraphale purred and nuzzled against Crowley, trying to calm him until Anathema returned. And when she did, she had a larger carrier, the one from years ago when Gabriel was a puppy. It would fit them both just fine.</p><p>Crowley eyed Anathema as he stuck close to Aziraphale’s side, following him into the crate. Aziraphale settled down on the blanket, curling around and leaving a spot against his side for Crowley. Crowley kept his glare facing out, laying himself down against Aziraphale’s stomach. </p><p>“All settled?” Anathema asked. She tossed a few treats near Crowley and closed the gate. </p><p>Crowley sniffed at them then curled closer to Aziraphale. </p><p>“You don’t want them?” Aziraphale asked, his own nose tantalized by the smells.</p><p>“It’s probably poisoned,” Crowley said. “Or drugged. I don’t trust it.”</p><p>Aziraphale huffed at him. “Honestly, you’re so dramatic. Here.” Aziraphale leaned over him and delighted in a few of the treats. “No poison," he announced.</p><p>Crowley eyed him, but he did crane his own head out, slowly eating away at the treats. </p><p>Then Anathema picked up the crate and Crowley startled, pushing back against Aziraphale. “I changed my mind! I’m not going! Let me out!”</p><p>“Relax,” Aziraphale said. He worked his tongue over a patch on Crowley’s back that was absolutely filthy. “You’re going to be fine. I won’t let them do any harm to you.”</p><p>Crowley let out a low, guttural meow. Aziraphale shook his head and just continued his grooming as Anathema carried them downstairs. She set them down by the door and Crowley scooted towards the gate, sticking a paw through, trying to claw at the latch in the front. </p><p>“Crowley, really. It’s going to be fine.” Aziraphale followed him over and grabbed him by the scruff, doing his best to pull him back. Aziraphale may not be the fittest of cats, but Crowley wasn’t exactly a ten-pound weight. </p><p>Crowley meowed again, a desperate attempt to get Anathema to release him. It didn’t work. Anathema, now armed with an umbrella of her own, picked the crate back up and carried them out into the rain.</p><p>“At least it’s a warm rain,” Aziraphale commented as she carried them down the street.</p><p>Crowley groaned and snuggled into Aziraphale’s side, burying his face in Aziraphale’s thick fur. </p><p>“It’s going to be alright,” Aziraphale told him. He purred a calming note and continued bathing him.</p><p>The vet’s was, thankfully, just around the corner. A little bell heralded their arrival. Anathema walked up to the front desk and set the carrier down on the ground. Outside the two could hear the concoction of other pets in the room, each waiting for their own turn.</p><p>A dog came sniffing up to the cage, his large, white face pressing against the bars. “Hey in there,” he greeted, his voice deep and languid.</p><p>Crowley hissed at him, his back arching slightly against Aziraphale. </p><p>“It’s okay,” Aziraphale whispered to him. “We’re safe in here. Nothing can get in.”</p><p>“Ah, sorry about that,” the dog’s owner said, coming to pull the great beast away. </p><p>Anathema picked up the crate and sat down on one of the benches, the crate carefully balanced on her lap. Sitting next to her was a woman with a birdcage, a beautiful green parrot sitting inside, singing away. </p><p>Crowley eyed the bird, a hunger in his glare. The bird caught sight of his yellow eyes from the darkness of the cage and then, with a slight hesitation in her song, hopped over to the far side of her own enclosure, keeping sight on the predator a few feet away. </p><p>“Do relax,” Aziraphale told him. “I’m sure Anathema will give you the good food when we get home.”</p><p>“The best food is the one you find on your own,” Crowley mumbled. He sighed and pressed his face to Aziraphale again. “Please just let me go.”</p><p>“Shush,” Aziraphale told him. Crowley’s head was already sparkling clean, but he groomed away at it anyway, just to be sure. </p><p>A few minutes of trembling later and it was their turn to follow the tech down the hallway into Dr. Tracy’s examination room. Anathema placed the carrier on the table and opened the gate. Crowley crawled over Aziraphale and wedged himself between him and the back wall.</p><p>“It’s alright, dear,” Aziraphale said. He got up and walked towards the opening, Crowley trying to grab loosely at his fur. “It’s safe.”</p><p>Crowley just curled himself further into the crate.</p><p>“Seems your friend is a little scared,” the tech said, scratching Aziraphale on the head. </p><p>“Yes,” Aziraphale agreed. “But I am trying my best to help him out.”</p><p>“I’m not going out,” Crowley said. “You can’t make me.”</p><p>But it wasn’t Aziraphale who was the only one trying anymore. The tech grabbed the back of the crate and lifted, creating a gentle incline for Crowley to slide down. Crowley tried desperately to claw at the sides, but these carriers were designed with that in mind, so he simply slipped down to the entrance.</p><p>“Come along,” Aziraphale said. He reached in and bit Crowley around the scruff, trying to help pull him out.</p><p>The tech laughed. “Never seen that before,” he said. “Usually they’re trying to keep the other one in.”</p><p>Anathema chuckled as well. “Well, you know Aziraphale. He’s always been smart and well-behaved. He must know that the new fella here needs help.”</p><p>Eventually, with a combined effort, the three of them got Crowley out of the cage. And he immediately wormed his way under Aziraphale, curling up beneath him. </p><p>“There’s nothing to be afraid of,” Aziraphale reminded him. “I told you. I wouldn’t let anything bad happen.”</p><p>Crowley watched the tech put on a pair of thick gloves and just huddled under Aziraphale more.</p><p>“Those are just in case you try to scratch him,” Aziraphale explained. “Which you certainly won’t!”</p><p>Crowley hissed and curled himself into a tight ball. “I won’t scratch him if he doesn’t touch me.”</p><p>“He has to, dear. Or you’ll never get better.”</p><p>“Well I don’t wanna get better!”</p><p>Aziraphale sighed and stepped away from Crowley, exposing him to the elements. The tech thanked him, then grabbed Crowley and lifted him up. Crowley tried to struggle, but the tech was too strong. He placed Crowley on the scale. Crowley immediately tried to climb out, but the tech, with all the patience it takes to work with animals, just eased him back onto it.</p><p>“Aziraphale!” Crowley cried. “Help!”</p><p>Aziraphale walked up and sat next to the scale, letting Crowley press his face against him. “It’s alright. He’s just seeing how much you weigh.”</p><p>Crowley whined, but he stayed still long enough for the tech to get a reading. And as soon as he did, Crowley was crawling right back under Aziraphale’s body.</p><p>“See?” Aziraphale said, licking wherever he could reach. “That wasn’t so bad, was it?”</p><p>Crowley shivered and hissed at him. </p><p>“Alright, now for the hard part.” The tech laughed. “Let’s get your vitals.”</p><p>“Oh no!” Crowley said. He wrapped his tail under his body and shivered. “I remember that part! Not happening!”</p><p>“It’s over before you know it,” Aziraphale told him. But this, at least, he understood. It was a rather uncomfortable sensation.</p><p>“You said you wouldn’t let anything bad happen! That is bad!”</p><p>Aziraphale lowered himself a bit, laying a gentle pressure over Crowley’s body. “I promise it’ll be over soon. But they have to check if you have a fever. You could have an infection!”</p><p>“I don’t care!”</p><p>Aziraphale tried to reassure him, but Anathema grabbed him and pulled him up and away. “Oh dear,” he said. “Anathema, please put me down. He needs me.”</p><p>“I don’t need anyone,” Crowley protested. But he yelped and called out to Aziraphale all the same as the tech got a hold of him and finished with the basics.</p><p>When Anathema finally put Aziraphale back down, Crowley glared at him and curled into a tight circle, facing away. Aziraphale crept up to him, hesitantly pressing his nose to Crowley’s body. Crowley just shook him off and curled tighter around himself.</p><p>Aziraphale frowned and sat down next to him. He kept watch as they waited for Dr. Tracy to arrive. It was an awfully quiet few minutes, and even though Anathema busied herself with petting him, Aziraphale still felt awful.</p><p>He knew Crowley needed to be here. His leg was hurt, and there could be any number of other issues he had from living out on the streets all those years. Aziraphale just wanted him to be safe and healthy. And if he had to suffer a little bit for it, so be it. But Aziraphale would rather prefer it if Crowley didn’t have to suffer. </p><p>Crowley seemed to warm back up to Aziraphale again, worming his way back under him as the door opened. Dr. Tracy was wearing her green scrubs that day, covered with little flowers. She looked beautiful in it, Aziraphale thought.</p><p>“It seems you found yourself a new friend, Aziraphale,” she said, greeting him with a scratch under his chin.</p><p>Aziraphale purred and rubbed against her warm hand. “She’s really very nice,” he reminded Crowley.</p><p>Crowley hissed and curled up tighter, shivering a bit as Anathema told Dr. Tracy all about what they had found when she and Newt got home. “I guess this little guy came around, hanging out by the windows,” she said. “And I know it sounds weird, but Aziraphale here would never leave someone hurt behind.”</p><p>Dr. Tracy smiled and moved her pets to the top of Aziraphale’s head. “Yes, he is such a kind soul.”</p><p>Aziraphale sat up straight, soaking in the praise. He really was a good pet. Perhaps even the best. He heard Crowley scoff under him. </p><p>“New fella’s got a hurt leg, hm?” Dr. Tracy asked. She tilted her head, smiling while trying to get a better look at Crowley.</p><p>“And he’s being very dramatic about it,” Aziraphale said. </p><p>“You’re the one being dramatic!” Crowley accused. “I was fine just letting it be! You had to be the one who needed to take me to the vet.”</p><p>“He’s not being very friendly, I’m afraid,” Anathema said.</p><p>“That’s alright, most street cats take some warming up time.” Dr. Tracy smiled and rummaged around in a drawer. “I’ll just clean and patch it up for him.”</p><p>“Did you hear that?” Aziraphale asked. “She’s just going to clean up your leg! No harm to be done!”</p><p>“It’s a lie,” Crowley said. </p><p>“It is not.”</p><p>Dr. Tracy set out her supplies on the exam table and then reached down, feeling around for the leg that required attention.</p><p>“It’s alright,” Aziraphale soothed. He scooted over a bit, giving her some more room to work. He bent his head and groomed over Crowley’s neck to calm him.</p><p>Crowley grumbled, but as long as the majority of his body was hidden away under Aziraphale’s, he let the good doctor work.</p><p>And Aziraphale was sure to sing his praises when he was done. </p><p>“You did wonderful! I’m so proud of you, you didn’t even try to scratch her!”</p><p>“Oh don’t patronize me,” Crowley mumbled. He pulled his leg back to his body and curled up to Aziraphale’s warmth.</p><p>“Will he be alright, like that?” Anathema asked. </p><p>“Oh, dear, yes. That’s a special wrapping that will actually dissolve over time. He can go right back out and not have to worry about it.”</p><p>“That’s amazing,” Anathema said.</p><p>But Aziraphale deflated a bit. If Crowley could go right back outside, then he wouldn’t have to stay with him anymore. And he wanted Crowley to stay. And not just because he was hurt, either. Crowley was cunning, charming, and nice. And Aziraphale wanted a friend around like that.</p><p>As soon as the crate was back up on the table, Crowley was limping his way inside, finding it a little difficult to walk with the bandage on. Aziraphale followed after him. They curled up in the back, Crowley resting with his head on Aziraphale’s side. He fell asleep as Anathema carried them back out to the waiting room. The poor dear must have been all tuckered out from his escape attempts.</p><p>It had stopped raining during all that time, and Aziraphale was glad for it. Surely the rain would have woken Crowley up, and he simply couldn’t have that happen.</p><p>Anathema carried the duo home and went straight to the kitchen. Crowley jostled awake as she set them on the ground, but he calmed upon seeing her open the back door. Aziraphale just frowned, desperately trying to think of a reason for Crowley to stay.</p><p>“You can’t go out there,” Aziraphale said. Crowley was already waiting by the cage door, itching to get out. </p><p>“Why not?”</p><p>“You can barely walk!” Aziraphale sat up and stared at him with a face he had learned from Gabriel. It tended to be very effective.</p><p>“I’ll be fine.” Anathema opened the gate and Crowley hopped out, hobbling his way to freedom.</p><p>Aziraphale chased after him. “You have to stay! A-a weak little thing like you is bound to get hurt out there all alone! I can’t have that on my conscience, can I?”</p><p>Crowley stopped, one paw on the ground outside. He looked over his shoulder, partly impressed and partly worried. “No fair. That’s my line.”</p><p>Aziraphale just kept his sad look up. </p><p>Crowley sighed. “Just until my leg’s better!” he said. “Don’t get too comfortable, or anything.”</p><p>Aziraphale brightened up as Crowley wandered back over, rubbing up against him with a gentle purr. </p><p>Anathema laughed, closing the door. “Guess we have a new cat, huh?”</p><p>Aziraphale beamed up at her. Yes, they did. And Aziraphale would get very comfortable indeed, for he was determined to keep it that way.</p>
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<a name="section0003"><h2>3. The New Digs</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I swear this isn't just a story about how much Gabriel is a big, dumb dog.<br/>I PROMISE</p><p>Also, brace yourselves! The Them are showing up next!!!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“I’m so glad you decided to stay,” Aziraphale said, curling his head around Crowley’s. They waited in the kitchen as Anathema prepared them some lunch. </p><p>“I’m not staying,” Crowley reminded him. “Just...temporarily imposing.”</p><p>“Well then, I’m glad you’ve decided to temporarily impose.”</p><p>Anathema turned back around, two bowls in hand. She placed one next to Crowley, “for being so good at the vet,” and one next to Aziraphale, “and for being such a good help.”</p><p>Aziraphale beamed at her and then went right to his meal, enjoying it thoroughly. She did break out the good stuff. Crowley stared at Anathema, then looked at the bowl next to him. He made a noise, then pressed his body up against Aziraphale, gingerly nipping at the food in his bowl.</p><p>“She didn’t poison yours,” Aziraphale told him. “I promise.”</p><p>“Can’t be sure,” Crowley said. “Why would she split it between two bowls?”</p><p>“So we don’t have to do this?” Aziraphale said, referencing their tight quarters and head bopping as they ate.</p><p>“What’s wrong with this?” Crowley asked. He had a bit of food stuck to his chin, and the tilt in his head was positively charming. </p><p>Aziraphale smiled at him. “Absolutely nothing.”</p><p>-</p><p>After finishing off both bowls together (proving that Anathema, indeed, did not try to poison him), Aziraphale decided to give Crowley a tour of his new home. However temporary he thought it would be.</p><p>“This is the kitchen,” Aziraphale said, taking him around it in a circle. He stopped by the pantry. “They keep the food in there. And the treats!”</p><p>Crowley laughed a bit and nodded. Aziraphale gave him a look and then led him into the back room of the shop.</p><p>“We’re not allowed on the couch back here,” he said. “I’m not really sure why, but they get mad when we do.”</p><p>Crowley stopped for a second to stretch, his back curving in the air. “Ya know, out in the real world you can climb on anything you want.”</p><p>Aziraphale sat down and frowned at him. “You also get into fights with others and hurt your leg.”</p><p>“That’s fair.”</p><p>Then Aziraphale led Crowley out to the bookshop. “This is where all the action is. The ends of the shelves are off limits for scratching, we want the shop to look good after all.” He led Crowley over to his favorite window, pointing out how to get up to it. “Once you get your leg healed of course. Can’t have you jumping around on things with that, you might make it worse.”</p><p>Crowley scoffed and rolled his eyes. “Honestly, I’m fine. Look, see?” He tried to jump up to the first shelf, but his back leg crumpled, sending him sliding back, holding onto the wood with his front claws. </p><p>“Oh yes,” Aziraphale said, sitting on the floor and watching him. “Perfectly fine indeed.”</p><p>Crowley huffed and carefully dropped back down to the ground. “Well, I almost made it.”</p><p>“Yes, dear, you did.” Aziraphale brushed up against him and then continued his tour, showing him all the chairs and sofas they could sit on, the windows with the best view, and the scratching tower they could use to sharpen their nails. </p><p>“Sure have a lot of rules and regulations around here,” Crowley commented. He followed Aziraphale up to the window by the door, the only one low enough for Crowley to get onto with a wide enough seat under it for both of them.</p><p>“It’s not all that much,” Aziraphale told him. They settled down around each other, a few weak rays of sun trying to warm their fur up. “Besides, they’re just there to keep the shop presentable. We do run a business, after all.”</p><p>Crowley yawned and laid his head on Aziraphale’s side. “And I bet everything would be totally fine if you broke those rules.”</p><p>Aziraphale curled around so he could snuggle his own head up to Crowley’s. “Well, Anathema and Newt would be awfully upset at us. But I can’t really think of anything more awful than that.”</p><p>Crowley scoffed, his body growing heavy as he let himself relax. “You’re such a house pet.”</p><p>Aziraphale smiled and closed his eyes, listening to Crowley breathe. He was a house pet, and he was perfectly happy with it. And he hoped that one day Crowley would as well.</p><p>-</p><p>Something cold and wet pressed against Crowley’s side. It moved, twitching, as it made a soft noise. Crowley peeled his eyes open and glared down at the dog sniffing at him. How did Aziraphale live with this big oaf? </p><p>“Go away,” Crowley told him, hoping he would listen to reason. He lifted a paw up, showing off his claws.</p><p>Gabriel sat down, a slight thudding sound. His tail thumped against the ground. “You’ve been sleeping all day,” he said. “Let’s play.”</p><p>Crowley grumbled and buried his face back in Aziraphale’s side. It rose and fell with each breath in a calming pace. It was hard not to be relaxed when curled up next to him. It was the little silver lining to being stuck in this bookshop until his leg was healed. And if he slept enough, it would heal quickly. </p><p>Gabriel barked, one loud note.</p><p>“Who’s making all that racket?” Aziraphale mumbled. He raised his head in a lazy fashion.</p><p>“Who do you think?” Crowley said, glaring back over at Gabriel. </p><p>“You’ve been asleep for ages,” Gabriel explained. “It’s time to play!”</p><p>“No,” Aziraphale said. He yawned a bit. “It’s still time for a nap.” He settled his head back down against Crowley’s, purring softly.</p><p>Gabriel’s body deflated slightly. “No fair. They should have gotten another dog. Cat’s are boring, you just sleep all day.”</p><p>“They didn’t get me,” Crowley told him. “I’m just staying until my leg gets better.”</p><p>Gabriel leaned forward, sniffing at Crowley’s bandage. “How long will that be?”</p><p>“Not long at all,” Crowley said, at the same time Aziraphale said, “Probably a few weeks, at least.”</p><p>Crowley looked back at Aziraphale. He had that pitiful little look on his face, and it was clear to see he’s lived with a dog way too long. Crowley didn’t like it; it was too effective. Looking into those eyes, one green and one blue, he couldn’t deny anything that Aziraphale said. </p><p>But Crowley didn’t want to stay in this shop, with those humans. And he certainly didn’t want to stick around with the dog. Fighting off dogs in the street for food he could do. Pretending to get along with one for Aziraphale’s sake was another beast altogether. </p><p>“So he’s staying forever?” Gabriel asked.</p><p>“Absolutely not,” Crowley said. But he had the feeling he was lying without knowing it.</p><p>“Just until he’s better,” Aziraphale agreed, probably also lying. Then he turned his head and started licking at Crowley’s face. Really, he wasn’t <i>that</i> dirty, was he?</p><p>Either way, he figured it was only fair to return the favor. There didn’t seem to be a lick of dirt on Aziraphale, but grooming him back felt right. And it would be worth the millions of hairballs he was sure to get with how thick and long the fur was. </p><p>“My mistake,” Gabriel said with a grumble. “All cats ever do is sleep and bathe.”</p><p>“Can’t blame us for being clean,” Aziraphale said. </p><p>“You ought to try it some time,” Crowley added with a laugh.</p><p>Gabriel stood up, snarling a bit as he growled. Crowley hissed back, muscles primed and ready to pounce at the first sign of movement from the dog. </p><p>Then Newt walked downstairs. “Gabriel, be nice to the new guy, okay?”</p><p>Gabriel whined a bit, but sat back down, frowning at Crowley. Crowley grinned back at him. Humans, it seemed, were good for one thing.</p><p>“Awww,” Crowley crooned. “Who’s a good boy?”</p><p>Gabriel’s ears perked up, his tail dragging across the floor as he wagged it. “Is-is it me? Am I the good boy?”</p><p>Crowley laughed and did not answer his question. At least this place had some good, built-in entertainment.</p><p>“Crowley,” Gabriel said, placing his paws on the windowsill and lumbering over them. “Who is it? Who’s the good boy?”</p><p>Aziraphale started to say something, probably to assure Gabriel that he was the good boy. But Crowley wasn’t done having fun yet, so he cut him off. </p><p>“It’s Aziraphale,” he said. “Aziraphale is the good boy.”</p><p>Gabriel gasped. His sad, droopy eyes, looked over at Aziraphale, utterly betrayed. “Aziraphale,” he said. “How...how could you?”</p><p>Aziraphale gave Crowley a look, and butted their heads together. “He’s lying. Obviously, you are the good boy.”</p><p>Gabriel eyed them suspiciously. “Are you sure?”</p><p>“Yes.” Aziraphale busied himself once more with the unnecessary cleaning of Crowley’s fur. “Anathema and Newt say it all that time.”</p><p>Gabriel thought about that for a minute. “You’re right! They do! They’ve never said that to you before!” He smiled, his breath a hot force against them as he overexerted himself with all his excitement. “See, Crowley? See? It was me.”</p><p>Gabriel pressed his face against Crowley’s side, nudging against him. Crowley meowed a warning, turning almost on his back so he could reach up and scratch Gabriel away.</p><p>“Alright, alright,” Aziraphale said, forcing his head between them. “Enough of that. Gabriel, we will play a game with you.”</p><p>Gabriel leaned back a bit. “Really?”</p><p>Aziraphale nodded, and Crowley squinted at him. Better not be anything involving running around. </p><p>“We’re going to play a game called hide and seek,” Aziraphale announced. Crowley smiled. He knew this trick, it was perfect.</p><p>“Oooh, what’s that?” Gabriel asked. “It sounds fun! I’m good at seeking things!”</p><p>Aziraphale nodded, looking quite pleased with himself. “Yes, yes, you’ll get your turn to seek, don’t worry. But first you have to hide.”</p><p>“Hide? Where?”</p><p>“We can’t know,” Crowley said.</p><p>“Yes, yes. You have to hide somewhere and it’s our job to find you. And once we do, then we hide and you get to find us.”</p><p>Gabriel’s tail practically went into warp speed. “That is fun! I bet I can find you faster than you can find me!”</p><p>“Oh there’s no doubt of that,” Crowley said. He snickered.</p><p>“Go on and hide now,” Aziraphale said. “We’ll even close our eyes so we can’t see where you’ve gone.”</p><p>Crowley laid his head back down on Aziraphale’s warm, soft body. He heard Gabriel race off somewhere upstairs. “Clever little pet,” he whispered.</p><p>Aziraphale chuckled softly, his body moving Crowley’s head with each breath. “Well, Gabriel is pretty easy to fool.”</p><p>-</p><p>Aziraphale woke next when Crowley stretched out beside him, head pressing deeper against him. Crowley was laid out on his back, arms curled down to his side. He looked adorable. Aziraphale shifted a bit, turning on his side so he could admire Crowley. </p><p>There was quite a handsome cat under all that dirt, as it turned out. Crowley’s black fur was layered with different shades, creating a sort of lovely shimmering effect, especially when he moved. Very handsome indeed. But Aziraphale wasn’t just trying to keep him around for his looks, oh no.</p><p>For practically his whole life it was just him and Anathema. A few years ago Newt and Gabriel had joined the scene, which was fine. But Aziraphale had never really known other cats. There were a few old friends he had, from Anathema’s old flat. But he didn’t see them anymore, and had only really talked to them through the windows. </p><p>Being with Crowley was different. He was warm, much warmer than dogs or humans. And he was small enough that they could easily curl around each other, just like this. Aziraphale liked resting in windows, and it was much more enjoyable to rest there with someone else.</p><p>And once Crowley’s leg healed, they could run and jump around together. With Anathema being so busy, and Gabriel being so large and excitable, it was hard for Aziraphale to enjoy himself fully. Perhaps he’ll get himself a little more in shape after this. </p><p>Crowley stretched, then rolled onto his side. He yawned and opened his eyes, squinting up at Aziraphale.</p><p>“Did you have a nice nap, dear?” Aziraphale asked, feeling his chest swell at the sight before him.</p><p>“Not bad,” Crowley said. He yawned again then got to his paws, stretching out the other way. </p><p>Aziraphale didn’t really want to leave the warmth and comfort of his afternoon cuddle session, but he got up as well, stretching out his own sleepy muscles.</p><p>“So, what do you do for fun around here?” Crowley asked. He hopped down to the floor, keeping his back leg up to avoid extra damage. </p><p>Aziraphale jumped down after him, somehow landing a little less gracefully even with all his paws in working order. “Well, when the shop is open, you can almost always find someone to read to you.”</p><p>“I said fun, Aziraphale.” Crowley laughed a bit and started walking around the shop floor, looking into all the nooks and crannies.</p><p>“What are you looking for?” Aziraphale asked. He decided to let that slight go. </p><p>“The big, dumb guy,” Crowley responded. “We did say we’d seek him.”</p><p>“Oh dear.” Aziraphale raced ahead a bit. “You don’t think he’s <i>still</i> hiding somewhere do you?”</p><p>“Well, considering that he didn’t come bother us, I’d say yes.”</p><p>They investigated all of the ground floor, finding no sign of the dog anywhere. Aziraphale stuck close to Crowley’s side as they made their way upstairs, providing additional support as he needed. They found Gabriel in the living room.</p><p>He was hiding behind the window curtains. But not very well. There was a noticeable lump, and his tail was peeking out from the bottom. </p><p>Crowley gave Aziraphale a look. “This guy? Really? This is who you want to keep living with?”</p><p>“Well, he’s at the bottom of the list, but he really is sweet,” Aziraphale explained. He pushed back the edge of the curtain, looking up at Gabriel.</p><p>“You found me!” Gabriel announced. “Good job!”</p><p>“You did do an excellent job at hiding,” Aziraphale praised.</p><p>“Now it’s your turn to hide,” Gabriel said.</p><p>Aziraphale looked back at Crowley. They really should be nice and let Gabriel have his turn. Beside, if they hid together in the same spot, they would have to be awfully close until he found them. </p><p>Crowley did a little shrug. “Better than <i>reading</i>.” He laughed and raced away at a slight hobble.</p><p>Aziraphale huffed and chased after him.</p>
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<a name="section0004"><h2>4. To dance by the light of the Jellicle Moon</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I can't believe I forgot about my title thing last update<br/>I also can't believe that was a month ago<br/>AND I REALLY CAN"T BELIEVE that I had this sitting out written long-hand for like a week and a half and never got around to typing it up.</p><p>I'm just full of disbelief tonight</p><p>BUT I"M ALSO FULL OF LOVE FOR ALL OF YOUR WONDERFUL PEOPLE STICKING AROUND AND READING THE CAT BOIS<br/>(now the <i>official</i> cat bois) &lt;3 THANK YOU</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>As it turned out, Crowley was a fan of television. Aziraphale didn’t often join the others when they spent their evenings in the living room watching television. No, he would much rather enjoy spending his time roaming about the shop, seeing if anyone left a book lying around he could spend the night with. Gabriel was more than happy to sit with the family and watch, barking like mad at any animal that showed up, because how dare they enter his home without asking.</p><p>Aziraphale had tried to tell Gabriel that they weren’t really there, but he just didn’t listen. </p><p>Crowley, however, was a different story. He enjoyed television in such a way that had Aziraphale entranced. They sat perched together on the end table by the couch, Aziraphale closest to the humans, of course. </p><p>Crowley sat at attention, eyes fully focused on the scene playing out before them (a bunch of old women living together or something, Aziraphale hadn’t really been paying attention). Aziraphale lay next to him, pressed up against his warm side, eyes slightly closed, purring a bit at the comfort of it all. </p><p>Aziraphale enjoyed watching the way Crowley’s tail swished back and forth, staying still for a brief moment before swapping over to the other side. Crowley was fully engrossed by the television, and Aziraphale by him. </p><p>After a few hours they all retired for the night. Anathema and Newt decided it was pointless trying to keep Gabriel downstairs. Aziraphale settled himself down in the cat bed, creating a perfect little pocket for Crowley to fit in. And fit in he did, curling up against Aziraphale’s side, cozy as could be. And that’s when Gabriel decided that he, too, wanted to join in on the cuddle party.</p><p>“You won’t fit, you big oaf,” Crowley told him. </p><p>But Gabriel didn’t listen. He shuffled around behind Aziraphale, squeezing himself down between them and the wall. Aziraphale and Crowley had to shuffle forward to avoid getting squished. Gabriel didn’t fit, but with him half-off the bed by the wall, and Crowley laying all of his upper body on Aziraphale, they at least managed to somehow come together. And Aziraphale was rather comfortable under all that weight and heat. Sleep came easy and safe.</p><p>-</p><p>Anathema had learned from her dinner mistake. When she came around to give them breakfast, she thoughtfully placed a larger bowl with extra food down for both Aziraphale and Crowley to share. </p><p>“See?” Aziraphale said, eating away at his meal. “Anathema is awfully kind and thoughtful.”</p><p>Crowley scoffed and still sniffed at the food first before carefully nipping at it. “Still don’t trust ‘em.”</p><p>Which was fine. Aziraphale figured it would take time for Crowley to come around to the concept of being a pet. But he would make such a lovely pet when he did. Crowley was so kind and caring and sweet, he would fit right in easily.</p><p>The sound of the door’s bell rang out. Aziraphale looked up from his meal, eager to find out who was here to shop so early. He wasn’t even aware that Anathema and Newt had opened yet. Crowley, meanwhile, jumped and pressed himself closer to Aziraphale.</p><p>“What was that?” he asked.</p><p>Aziraphale decided he would finish eating before chasing after his curiosity. “It’s just the door,” he told Crowley. “Nothing to be afraid of, dear. It’s just there to let us know when a customer has arrived. </p><p>“Is it going to be doing that all day?” Crowley crept back to his side of the bowl, timidly rejoining Aziraphale in eating breakfast. </p><p>“It depends on the day, and how busy we get.”</p><p>“Great.” Crowley crunched on his food. Then he muttered, “I wasn’t scared.”</p><p>Aziraphale just smiled at him. </p><p>-</p><p>It wasn’t a customer that had come so early in the day. No, it was Aziraphale’s fourth favorite human, after Anathema, Newt, and the food delivery man. It was James Bentley, a nice older gentleman who spent his days going to yard sales, auctions, and closings. He wound up with a lot of junk, and he was always happy to donate any books he found to his favorite small business. </p><p>Aziraphale raced forward and hopped up to the counter, just enough room for him to fit with the pile of boxes. Newt chuckled at him as he processed the new finds. Aziraphale reached up to the nearest box, peeking inside to see if he could see anything of unique interest. </p><p>“Hello there, old friend,” Bentley said. He scratched the top of Aziraphale’s head, distracting him briefly from the new hoard of books before him. </p><p>“Oh, yes!” Aziraphale said. “Speaking of friends, Bentley, you simply have to meet my newest one! You will love him.” Aziraphale turned and looked down, but Crowley was nowhere to be seen. Gripped with panic that Crowley had somehow run away, Aziraphale jumped down, looking about for him.</p><p>“Must not be anything good this trip,” Bentley declared with a laugh. </p><p>“Crowley?” Aziraphale called out. He checked behind each shelf, even looking between where the books had gaps. But no friend was to be found.</p><p>“I saw him bolt upstairs,” Gabriel offered. He was waiting by the door as Anathema got his leash ready. “Must have hurt with his leg like that.”</p><p>Aziraphale thanked him and bounced up the steps, once more calling out Crowley’s name.</p><p>“What?” Crowley asked, somewhere distant.</p><p>Aziraphale followed his voice to the bedroom. “Crowley? Are you in here?”</p><p>“Yes,” Crowley hissed, sounding more like a snake than a cat.</p><p>Aziraphale wiggled his way under the bed, crawling over to Crowley, who was curled up by the wall. “What are you doing over here?”</p><p>“Just waiting until there’s no more people around.”</p><p>“You can’t just stay up here all day. You’ll get bored!”</p><p>Crowley nodded his head to the other side of the bed. “Saw a bug over there,” he explained. “Figure I can get a few hours of torturous fun outta it.”</p><p>Aziraphale huffed. He did not want Crowley to hide under the bed all day. Mainly because he did not want to spend a whole day without Crowley. But he most certainly did not want Crowley to be uncomfortable. “How about a compromise? We can find you a nice little hiding spot in the shop, I do know a few, and then you’ll be able to easily tell when there aren’t customers around and come out. Then go right back when there is someone.”</p><p>Crowley considered it for a moment, studying Aziraphale. “I don’t want anyone touching me,” he said. </p><p>“And they certainly won’t!” Aziraphale declared. “And I’ll scratch at anyone who tries!”</p><p>Crowley smiled softly at him. “Alright. Lead the way. It better be a good spot.”</p><p>-</p><p>It was the perfect spot. The armchair in the front of the shop was large enough that Crowley could comfortably fit under it, and the bottom was good at not folding down when someone sat there. Plus, that was where all of Aziraphale’s favorite customers sat when they read to him. So Crowley could hear the readings too.</p><p>“Why are you under the chair?” Gabriel asked as Crowley tested out the space.</p><p>“He’s going to be there to avoid the customers,” Aziraphale explained. And right on cue, the morning’s first book buyer arrived. </p><p>Gabriel ran up to greet them, and Aziraphale checked that Crowley was comfortable before joining him. He wanted everyone to meet Crowley, to love him as he did. But he was content with knowing that Crowley was at least only a little bit away.</p><p>-</p><p>It turned out to be a busy day, and Crowley was kind of regretting letting that bug upstairs get away. But he just couldn’t say no to Aziraphale’s plea, especially not after he promised to fight someone for him. Besides, customers liked reading to Aziraphale. It wasn’t nearly as interesting as the television had been, but it did keep the boredom at bay.</p><p>Eventually Crowley fell asleep, waking again when he felt a warm and soft pressure at his side. Aziraphale was laying down against him. “What are you doing?”</p><p>“Oh dear. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to disturb you.” Aziraphale settled himself closer, resting his head on Crowley’s side. It was comfortable. “Just thought I’d join you for a nap.” He yawned. “Running a bookshop can be terribly exhausting. </p><p>Crowley chuckled. “Is there no one out there?” Aziraphale shook his head. “We could go out to the window. If you’d like.”</p><p>“Only if you’re okay,” Aziraphale said. “I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”</p><p>Truth was, Crowley kind of missed the sun on his fur, and if he could snag a few peaceful moments with Aziraphale warming him up, well, he’d take it. “C’mon, pet.” He nudged Aziraphale to his paws and they curled up by the window again. </p><p>Crowley smiled, resting his head against Aziraphale. This, at least, he could get used to.</p><p>-</p><p>“Dog! Dog! Dog!” Gabriel’s insistent shouting woke Aziraphale from what he figured was the best nap he’s ever had.</p><p>“Very good,” Crowley crooned. “You can recognize your own kind! You must be very proud.”</p><p>Aziraphale lifted his head and looked outside. “Oh, no, dear. Dog is his name.”</p><p>Crowley followed Aziraphale’s gaze. “Who names their dog, Dog?”</p><p>Aziraphale go up to stretch, noticing the drop in Crowley’s face. “That would be Adam. He and his friends stop by after school sometimes. Lovely children.”</p><p>“Children?” Crowley said with a shiver. “Worst of all humans.”</p><p>Aziraphale knew that Crowley would like them, and that they would love Crowley. But he said nothing of it as Crowley hoped down and his himself under the chair, just before the bell announced their arrival. </p><p>“Dog!” Gabriel greeted, bouncing around the little thing by Adam’s side. “Let’s play!”</p><p>Dog just stared at him as Gabriel crouched down, his tail thwaping about behind him.</p><p>“Go on, Dog,” Adam said. He knelt down and unhooked the leash. “Have some fun.”</p><p>Gabriel raced further into the shop, where they could get into all sorts of trouble. Dog gave an excited little yelp and chased after him.</p><p>“Good afternoon, Aziraphale,” Wensleydale said. He sat next to Aziraphale on the sill and gently pet over his silky fur. He was a bright young lad, and Aziraphale liked him the best. </p><p>“Hey, kids,” Anathema greeted. “Got a new load in today, if you wanted to check it out”</p><p>“Any more of those magazines?” Adam asked.</p><p>Pepper rolled her eyes. “He won’t shut up about them.”</p><p>“I think they’re cool,” Brian argued.</p><p>Anathema smiled at them. “We have a few in the back. Come on.” She led the other three away, leaving Aziraphale to enjoy the soft pets of his fifth favorite human. Maybe fourth actually, he mused as Wensleydale scratched at his head. </p><p>“Cat’s don’t get black hairs the way humans get grey ones, do they?” Wensleydale asked. He had picked a few of Crowley’s out of Aziraphale’s side and held them up to the light, studying them.</p><p>Newt, who was pretending to look busy behind the counter, looked up at him. “Oh, no. We actually have a new resident in the shop now.”</p><p>“Where are they?” Wensleydale looked around and Aziraphale hoped he wouldn’t find Crowley. </p><p>“He’s kind of skittish,” Newt explained. “Not very people-oriented. Like a real cat.”</p><p>The two of them shared a laugh and Aziraphale shook his head. <i>Dog people</i>.</p><p>“But the two of them are usually stuck to each other like glue.”</p><p>“Aww,” Wensleydale said.</p><p>“Aww what?” Pepper asked as she and the others returned, a new stack of magazines in Adam’s hand. </p><p>“Aziraphale has a boyfriend!” Wensleydale informed them.</p><p>“Ah, well, that,” Aziraphale let out a little chuckle, “That’s not entirely-”</p><p>“That’s adorable,” Pepper said. “I support them fully.”</p><p>“Can we come to the wedding?” Brian asked. Anathema laughed and told them they absolutely could. </p><p>Aziraphale tried to tell them that Crowley was just his very good new friend, but they just kept chattering away about what sort of flowers they should have, and whether or not Aziraphale would look good in a little suit. (He would look absolutely snazzy, thank you very much!)</p><p>By the time the kids were ready to leave, Aziraphale had given up trying. </p><p>“Boyfriend, huh?” Crowley asked, sneaking his way out once they were gone.</p><p>Aziraphale chuckled nervously. “You know how kids can be.”</p><p>“Maybe they’re not as awful as I thought.” Crowley hopped up next to Aziraphale and rubbed his head under Aziraphale’s chin, purring softly. </p><p>“Oh.” Aziraphale felt all warm and gooey inside, something like he hasn’t felt in years. “Well, if-if you’re sure.”</p><p>Crowley just laughed and pressed their bodies closer together.</p>
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